I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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