i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
