the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
