We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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