I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
