I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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