oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
