Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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