we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I had to cum in my sink.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize