so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize