Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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