I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
