She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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