hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
