just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize