I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize