You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
