I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
