I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
