I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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