im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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