I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found your dick twin last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
