but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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