No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
