they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
