Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Two words: blizzard sex
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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