then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
