Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am midnight drunk by noon
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
