i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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