i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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