The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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