yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
