i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
