No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
