I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
