On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
