I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize