Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
