I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
