I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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