# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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