butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I didn't notice because vodka
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
