I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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