I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
