youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize