i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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