Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I puked a lego.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
