Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
