I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
