my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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