I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize