Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
