yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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