they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
