I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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