he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
