bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
