Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
