So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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