I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
