Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
