Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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