My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're a waste of cheezeits
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
