he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I could make wine with my vomit
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
